Friday, August 5, 2011

Be Careful What You Ask For

"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."
Mark 11:24 ESV

"“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you."
Matthew 7:7 ESV

"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him."
1 John 5:14-15 ESV

I truly believe each and every one of these words.  I asked for God to send me a loving man who would love me for just being me; and He sent me Brad.
Before our wedding, I prayed that God would bless our marriage and grant us beautiful, loving children; and He sent us Emmaelynn.
But sometimes, I don't really think before I ask God for something; whether it be guidance, wisdom, or patience.
Because if you ask God for things like those, He allows for us to go through things in our lives to get us to the point of where we want to be. 
Before Emma was born, late one night close to the end of my pregnancy, I was getting nervous about becoming a mom.  I prayed that God would give me peace and patience.
Since then, I realize that God has granted me a strong-willed child and through her I am gaining the patience that I so wanted in the beginning of motherhood. 
And the peace?  Well, after a long day of learning the patience that God wants me to recieve; the peace and quiet of the night with her sleeping soundly in her bed; it's all the peace I need.
I say these things because for the last year, I have wanted to return to work. 
There have been many nights that I have prayed for God to send me into a job that would magnify the numerous skills that I possess.  But one where I can still be a constant in Emma's life.  Plus, one that would let me be at home at night while Brad is working extended hours.
 (Which sounds like these types of hours are going to last for awhile longer.)
After we left the panhandle for C-Stat, door after door of possible jobs were thrown shut in my face.  I had really began to give up and become defeated in my search for a job.
I kept forgetting that I had previously asked God to grant me patience in my day to day walk.
But now, I feel that God wanted me here, in the Big Country, for the perfect job for me to fill.
Two weeks ago, I just happened along a school website that was looking for 3 positions to fill,
all of which I qualified for.  So I applied. 
This past Monday, I interviewed at on of the two campuses that had positions. 
I left feeling that I had really done an exceptional job and would be getting a call the next day offering me the position.
I got a call a few hours later telling me they had offered it to a former substitute.
And right then, I felt absolutely devestated.  I just didn't know how many more doors had to be shut before I had hit my breaking point; which I was coming dangerously close.
Then, on the other end of the phone I heard an apology from the principal and immediately afterwards he tells me that he, himself, had called the other campus principal and told her to really look at me, that I would be a wonderful employee to work with.   He warned that it didn't guarentee me a position with her campus, but, that he was sending my application/resume to her the next morning.  I waited the next day, with no phone call.
The following day was my birthday, and by this point, I felt I was going to have to look somewhere else for a job or just become a substitute for several campuses and work my way into a full-time position from there.  I literally was on the phone with my Mimi explaining how devestated and defeated I felt, and I knew the other principal was just not going to call.
5 mintues after getting off the phone with my grandmother; I got the call I thought I wouldn't get, and went to interview 2 hours later.
(Emma was with me....and went to the interview with me....) 
This morning, approximately 30 mins. ago, I re-entered the workforce.
I am an elementary school Librarian. 
And I could not be filled with more joy in my heart.
Everything comes in only God's own time, not our own, it is His divine plan and not my own.
I have to continue to tell myself to let go and let God.
A concept that my family has had lots of practice with, but, I still have yet to master.
Be careful what you ask from God, because sometimes, you get exactly what you are asking for; you just may have to jump through a few hoops to learn other things before you reach your final destination.
Thank you, God, for granting me a job that is absolutely perfect.
You amaze me everyday.
                                                       ~Your humbled follower

p.s.:  On Tuesday, I started calling around to find a place to send Emma full-time.  The lady here that everyone praises and is accredited was supposed to be full, with no full-time spots available.
But I called her anyway to just see if it was true.
She immediately told me, she had been holding a spot open for Emma this summer.
God is SO GOOD!

No comments:

Post a Comment